I have been and am doing well, for the most part. Life is a rollar coaster, rarely boring, can be thrilling, sometimes fun, sometimes tedious, and it never stops. No jumping off this bandwagon. Friends come and go, or more accurately, I migrate. I miss a few that I have not spen time with lately, at the samtime I think about why I don't spend time with them. People have these little nuances that creep under my skin. Parts of their personality and behaviour disgusts me, and I see at as pathetic. I find it unacceptable, find them unworthy. I stretch my tolerance like a rubber band, but its dry and cracked and my resistance doesn't last long. I use to think I was just too picky. What I relaly need is a healthy dose of reminder, the reason I do not associate with them any longer or for prolonged periods of time. I do not like who they are. They are not who I imagined them to be or who they were pretending to be. They shed their skin and are entirely unknown. It doesn't mean they are vile, descipable creatures with a lack of morals, they just... were not who I thought them to be, not what I was reaching out for, a persona to add to my world. Expectations makes reality worse. Realizations of the world, its harsh. People, you and I, we do not always live in the same world. I have been spending the last couple months with a large circle of friends, and I find thus far it takes no effort to tolerate them. In fact, I enjoy it, I don't yearn for it out of obsession, and it is healthier that way. Sometimes there is only a few of us, but I think I can handle it. Then again, with how many people there usually are around, they could still end up ripping off their masks and being a clash of colours to my life. Only time shall tell.
A healthy dose of reminder
